You smell like a Billy Joel song
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
