how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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