I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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