Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
