so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
