I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
