We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
