watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
