i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
