He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Randomize
