I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
