youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
