im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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