You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we're chasing vodka with high fives
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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