i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
