I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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