I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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