He is an equal opportunity slut.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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