'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
do herpes really smell.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
