Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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