His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's like heaven, but drunker
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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