then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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