In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
