I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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