dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
