I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He shit in the fireplace
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
