Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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