is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
