Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
