You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
