I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
