I wish I could teleport
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
