Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
