Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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