Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
