Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
