I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
