Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
