During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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