he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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