ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
