just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
