Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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