Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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