You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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