Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
