dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
