I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
