I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
