We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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