stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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